have you ever shown someone a video of a comedian you like & then they don’t think it’s funny & you start whispering to the comedian “be funnier, you’re embarrassing me”
Insomnia Cookies called me to tell me that they were downstairs with my cookies.
I told my friends to be quiet while I was on the phone.
I don’t have any friends with me.
I just didn’t want the delivery guy to think that all of the cookies were for me.
I guess I’ll go fuck myself
Guess who bought all of these as a kid..

me. The answer is me.
My Boyfriend Does My Makeup Tag Video
I do my girlfriend’s makeup! Her name is Michele :)
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so you know how at the doctor’s office they check your reflexes by hitting your knee with that thing?
well my brother just told me that he’s been faking his reflexes for 15 years



Nature Documentary Episode 2
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Nature Documentary Episode 1
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- Plot Twist: Taylor Swift dates a guy without the intention of breaking up with him just so she can write songs about him.
n00o:
does anyone else think that the outlines of tattoos are cooler than the finished tattoo?
no
Living up to your url I see
This is exactly why you shouldn’t accept your grandmother’s friend request, Evan!